Bump.
Sigh. You finally fall asleep for five minutes and there’s an issue. Typical.
Thump. Drag.
Should’ve invested in that so called guardian animated statue. Even if it was a fake the rumor of owning one could have been a deterrent. Just couldn’t have the grapevine making jokes about me having g.a.s. Another sigh. Better settle this fast. Kiff slipped out of bed and slung a bandolier full of his favorite Handy Things over his shoulder.
It’s rare for a halfling to live on a second floor, but the shop is downstairs and there’s never a thought of leaving the merchandise unattended, especially the more interesting acquisitions. And the clientele has gotten noticeably rougher and greedier with the influx of gold seekers. This was the third break-in this month! The good luck charms have been selling fast, though. Humans are so foolish when you play on their silly hopes. Big folk, big dreams, little sense. Ha! Better to have big sense and little stature. There are much easier ways to find gold than breaking rocks or scooping sand out of a stream. Oafs.
Kiff’s feet were softer than starlight as he crept down the stairs. The shop was empty. Thump. Rustle. The storeroom, then. It was late, and there was only a sliver of moon in the night sky. Taking out some thug is easy when it’s dark and you know the terrain better than the back of your own hand. Gliding among the shadows, he soon identified the intruder by his silhouette. Hanspur’s* Handbags, that wasn’t just one of the big folk, it was a huge one even by their standards. The thief was trying to force the lock on one of his chests that contained more valuable items.
Time for quick decisions. Take him out or summon the Watch? Did he stumble upon the good stuff by dumb luck or is he more clever than most? Big and dumb is manageable, big and smart is dangerous. But finding a watchman takes time and gives the thief a chance to get away. Plus, there are some items in the storeroom that are best not brought to a watchman’s attention. That decided it then. Kiff emerged from the deepest shadows, sliding a dagger from his bandolier. This guy will be a lot shorter once he’s hamstrung anyway. But he only took two steps before going still, when the thug’s posture went rigid and he started sniffing the air. What the hells? The figure turned and Kiff felt the thug’s gaze upon him. “Quillip ma’o bitya!” his voice growled as he stepped forward.
Time to adjust tactics. Did he just insult me in goblin? He grabbed a sunrod from his bandolier, lighting and throwing it in one smooth motion before retreating. The rod landed on the floor, spilling rays of light and casting long shadows all around the room, briefly surprising the intruder as Kiff ducked the corner. The storeroom looked like it was packed floor to ceiling, and it pretty much was, but nooks, crannies, and even some halfling sized pass-throughs were intentionally created throughout the storage space. The man chased Kiff around the corner and found nothing. Large knife in hand, he started prowling down the aisle looking for his prey. From his vantage point behind a crate of fine cheeses Kiff got a decent look at him as he walked passed, still sniffing the air. He wasn’t just big, he was ugly, and everything about him seemed off.
Time for a risk. He focused intently on that face as he whispered a magic word to a little spell he’d learned a ways back. The intruder didn’t seem to hear. Lucky. Sure enough, his head glowed with an aura of scintillating colors. Illusion magic, mostly from the cap he was wearing. Now he knew what to look for. Squinting at the back of the man’s head, Kiff could make out long pointed ears, grey mottled skin, and short, matted black hair. The illusion also hid the fact that he was even bigger than he first thought, seven feet if he was an inch. As he got to the end of the aisle he turned, and Kiff could see the sloping forehead, beady red eyes, and short tusks erupting from his mouth. A bugbear, biggest and nastiest of the goblin races. Right here in Amber? What’s going on here?
Time to end this. There are so many unanswered questions but this thing has got to go. Easy enough to get back to the shop with the monster at the opposite end of the storeroom. Time for some noise. He slid the bolt back from the door with a loud clack and opened it, ringing the bells that, during business hours, let Kiff know he had customers. The bugbear’s feet thudded towards him as he ran into the lane, reaching into his bandolier pouch for another Handy Item. The thunderstone shattered when he hurled it against the neighboring building, the boom resonating as Kiff yelled “Fire! Alarm!” As he ran off. The bugbear didn’t pursue him out of the shop.
When dawn broke three hours later the Watch was still lingering in his shop. Kiff lucked out again, though. The first watchman he found was also an occasional customer who was minded to turn a blind eye to some of Kiff’s more “exotic” pieces. For a future discount, of course. Maybe he’d like a good luck charm? There was no sign of the intruder except for some fresh blade scars on a storeroom chest, but no one was buying the bugbear story. “You little folk are so jumpy. Fear makes things bigger in the dark. Nothing stolen? Well, we’ll keep an eye out for monsters.” Somebody snickered. Jerks. Not that I expected them to be useful but they could spare me the sarcasm. And something did get stolen, not that I’d tell you dolts about it. Discovering what the bugbear wanted with my rare books will surely be an interesting endeavor. I’ll get to the bottom of this myself, and find a way to make some gold in the process.
Kiff saw the watchmen out, and from where he stood he could see the river. A ferry was already coming across. More prospectors seeking their fortunes, no doubt. Advertisements were posted liberally around the docks, so some of the newcomers would surely find their way to his humble shop. Maybe someone from a noble house with even bigger illusions of grandeur than usual? That’d be a profitable morning.
Time to open for business, then. But maybe some coffee first.
*Hanspur is the minor god of rivers, river travel, and smuggling.